Santas Reply - A Funny, Comedic Male Monologue

'Santa's Reply' - A Funny, Comedic Male Monologue This stand-alone comedic male monologue features Santa trying to win back Mrs. Claus. If you want to know how this happy couple fell apart, read Mrs. Clauses piece in our list of comedic female monologues. It may be used by students, actors, directors for educational or professional purposes. But remember, it is purely a work of fiction. In reality, Mr. and Mrs. Claus are happily married! Santas Reply SANTA: Dear Mrs. Claus... Ever since you left me for the Easter Bunny, my life has become utterly meaningless. Without you, the North Pole truly is the loneliest place in the world. Without you by my side, there has been no one to keep me on my diet. Ive gorged upon cookies and milk. I even stole Rudolphs carrots. I gobbled up the gingerbread house next door. The neighbors are furious. Ive gotten so big, the reindeer have developed back problems. Thanks to me, the sled now exceeds its maximum capacity. I dont think Ill be able to clear the Rockies this Christmas Eve. And I cant stop drinking. Ive been going to Eggnog Anonymous meetings, but they just arent helping. And I hesitate to mention how devastated the elves have been. They keep asking about you. So, as you can tell, without you, my life is ho-ho-horrible. Please come back to me. I dont care if youre naughty or nice. Theres no one else I want underneath my mistletoe. Please come home.